by Elizabeth Cairns on August 15, 2010
As you may have seen recently I’m featuring some of our fabulous netwalkers on the blog and today I’m delighted to host the very talented Kathryn McTaggart.
Kathryn McTaggart
Kat is a lawyer with a difference, she not only has an expert knowledge of the complex world of family law but she has compassion for her clients and a great sense of humour. She prides herself on her ability to bring dignity and humour back to even the most emotional and distressing of situations. Kat and I met whilst networking in West London a couple of years ago and hit it off from the word go. I warmed to her quick wit, open smile and clear passion she has for her job (not to mention a fellow thespian and lover of good wine).
I had the privilege of working with her in her former London law firm, so have experienced first hand her love of the law and her ability to seamlessly work magic in even the most complex of cases. I watched her empathically and skilfully transform clients from being hopeless, stressed out despair to realising there is a the light at the end of the tunnel.
She is generous with her time and expertise and an avid networker seeking to add value and a healthy dose of fun to any meeting. Now that she has recently relocated back to her home country of Wales to work as an associate for Woolley and Co, we don’t share as many glasses of vino as we once did, but she still puts her wellies on from time to time and livens up a netwalk.
You can connect with Kathryn on Twitter http://twitter.com/Kat_McTaggart or find out more about her firm here http://www.family-lawfirm.co.uk/Find-a-Lawyer/Kathryn-Mctaggart.aspx or read her witty and informative commentary on family law related life on her blog http://kathrynmctaggart.wordpress.com/
If you know someone going through a hard time with divorce or family matters involving children, I can guarantee they will be in safe, competent and compassionate hands with Kat.
by Elizabeth Cairns on July 30, 2010
Sometimes life can feel like it’s not going according to plan can’t it? I don’t know about you but a few of my clients and friends have reported going through what has felt a bit like a dark night of the soul recently and I’ve got to admit the last few months hasn’t all been sailing with favourable winds here either, personally it’s been a time of great challenge, growth and realisation.
As we prepare for our next adventure on the other side of the world, I hope you will allow me to share my thoughts on the energy of this last few months. It’s rather more sober than the newsletters you may have come to expect but it feels real and present nonetheless and I hope that it is worth a moment of reflection.
2010 has most definitely been a time of transition for many people and a current of uncertainty, experienced by everyone but not necessarily named, has been rippling beneath the surface of semi-calm waters for a while.
For some there have been traumatic experiences of grief and loss that have literally caused tidal waves of emotion and heartache. For others they seem to be bobbing along just fine when a rip tide pulls them under unexpectedly and sweeps them out to sea. Some have been lost, feeling abandoned, alone and have not necessarily had the strength or will to paddle back into shore, even if they do know which direction dry land is in. For others the experience of this energy might not have been quite so dramatic, just simply a feeling of being unsettled; goals not quite coming to fruition; things being put back; having to wait.
If any of this has been your experience, then I hope this will bring a little comfort. The tide (or what could be described as the energy of this time), I believe, is turning or more accurately has just turned.
It’s not necessarily that the waters are calm, but as I see it, more and more people are learning to surf. The kind of surfing required to take us into what I believe is the beginning of a new era takes a certain kind of approach.
I hope you’ll excuse the rather laboured surfing analogy – I think my impending trip to Oz has affected my writing, but if you’ll bear with me:
There are a few truths that every good surfer knows…
- you can’t control the tides;
- you can’t swim against current for long without getting exhausted;
- if you miss your ride another will be along soon;
- you just gotta align your board, sit it out and paddle like hell when the swell comes;
- When you get a sweet ride you are at one with the waves and are moved by a force far greater than yourself.
What this time calls for is perhaps:
Acceptance – This is not the glib state of inaction that comes when the frustration of futile effort is exhausted, but rather a state of deeper peace and letting go. You can’t control the tides, a realisation that whatever is happening is indeed unfolding exactly as it should and we should not be so desperate to control it. It requires a little trust and a belief that ultimately all is well. We may not yet be able to define the reason for our situation but at some point all will become clear. If it is happening to us it must indeed be part of our path for how could our experiences not be?
Compassion – Not just for others, but for ourselves. Actively reminding ourselves that we are simply doing the best that we can with the resources we have available to us can really help us ride the waves. Our best will change moment by moment and that’s ok. By holding a space for ourselves of unconditional positive regard (in the same way that a good coach or therapist would do) we can avoid the berating of self that can arise if we feel like we are going over old lessons and “still haven’t got it yet!”
If you feel like you’re repeating old patterns, that learning’s from the past have reared their ugly heads again and you feel like you’re back in pre-school then great, it shows that you’re coming to an even deeper realisation. It’s like reading the same book 3 years later, you’ll get different stuff from it, because you are different and that’s exactly how it should be.
Alignment – Check in again with what is really important to you in your life. If it feels like you’re swimming against the current it may be that some aspects of your life are being played out in contravention to some of your core values. Living in alignment with our values is an important aspect of acknowledging our own worth.
Allowing – When you are ready for it, the wave will come and take you. You won’t always know how and where and that’s what makes it a hell of a ride. You have the choice to jump off the board, to sit it out and wait for the next one, but soon there will be a realisation that trying to control the process or your part in it gets in the way. Hold your visions and your dreams by all means but don’t let them hold you.
The Spirit that moves the waves wants to take you for a ride, and if you’re willing to let go it will be the ride of your life.
Much love
Elizabeth
x
