Family Cairns have all ventured out on a 15 mile walk today, in my advanced state of pregnancy I declined and so have our rambling and quiet country pad to myself for the day.
There would have been a time when enforced solitude would have me searching high and low for any distraction going, particularly as someone with extrovert tendencies, but these days the prospect is blissful.
Perhaps it comes from a deeper sense of personal peace, I’m much happier in my own skin than I used to be. It got me thinking about the journey to this more peaceful place and what is it that enables me to be so much more comfortable here.
I live in the present moment far more than I ever used to. That’s not to say I don’t have goals and dreams for the future and I do spend time there, but the future of fear or worry gets a far more fleeting glance than it might have done previously, before my senses (or a gentle nudge from my husband) gets me back to where I belong..in the here and now.
I also let myself off the hook for past mistakes far quicker. Take the learning and move on was my mantra for some time when personal challenges and change seemed to bombard me with what I now frame as “opportunities for personal growth” aka bloody hard times!
I live consciously and deliberately through each of my senses, smelling, hearing, tasting and embracing the world moment by moment. Seeing it in all its glorious technicolour detail as a living breathing work of art. Being anchored in my body and in sensory experience, much like a young child is, keeps one firmly in the present moment. It means that we notice so much more of the world around us. When we notice with genuine curiosity and interest we can appreciate just what a gift the present is.
I am also far more accepting of myself, my perceived limitations, my sometimes controversial beliefs and my alternative (to some) view of life. I can genuinely appreciate that I am doing the best that I can whatever the circumstances. Even if my best changes from moment to moment, from day to day – depending on how resourceful or healthy I feel at any given moment. This is a huge liberator from the gloomy cloud of feeling never quite good enough that would darken my earlier days.
I know what I stand for and what’s really important to me and then I give myself the freedom to make those things the priority in my life. The sense of personal congruence that comes from this is incomparable to the divided conflicted self that might occasionally rear her head.
So if being in your own skin isn’t as easy a place as you’d like it to be perhaps there’s a few nuggets there of use.
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Your timing as ever Mrs Cairns is perfect. Struggled hugely the last 2 days with a lot of challenging and self-critical thoughts, mind-reading and ‘futurising’. Your blog has helped set me up beautifully for this day and just ‘be’. Thank you
Such a pleasure my lovely and sorry to hear it’s been a struggle. Can’t wait to catch up properly when back from hols. Enjoy being your beautiful, wonderful self today xx
Lovely post and I love the idea of embracing your senses and remembering to think like a child. Hope you are enjoying your pregnancy body and savouring every moment. Sounds like you are having a lovely restful, inspirational time.
Thanks Rosie, yes am loving every minute. Of all folks I know you can appreciate how to tap into that childlike essence, you’re photos say it all
What a fab post and just what I needed to read. As somebody once said the present moment is all there is, so we need to embrace it. Enjoy the peace of your country pad! Great pic too – very natural.
Lovely post. You are the embodiment of being comfortable in your own skin. Enjoy these last few days of freedom!